Travelogues: April 2008

Where do I begin writing about someone like Kaka, someone who had such a big influence on my life? Who was so close to me that he trusted me with so many secrets of his life, and with whom I shared my own? There are no clear beginnings or ends, but let me start with the facts.

Balakrishna Shripad Dixit, [B.S.Dixit], addressed by all his children as 'Kaka,' was born on January 7th, 1908. He was a civil engineer by training from the College of Engineering, Pune, and the same college where I, his son-in-law, one day would study. I became engaged to his daughter in December 1967, when we set the wedding date for June 17, 1968. At the time, Vijaya/Sujata was completing a postgraduate course in Library Sciences in Mumbai. We gave the postal service a busy time delivering letters between Mumbai and Bangalore.

I first saw my father-in-law-to-be in Bhadravati during a week in early 1968, when Sujata was visiting there, and I joined them. He was trim and fit (and he remained so all his life), quite tall, dressed simply in Khadi or cottons. He reminded me a bit of Baba Amte. I luckily overcame my nervousness about meeting strangers, only to discover that Kaka liked to talk a lot about many subjects-- literature and politics being his favorites. I only stayed for a couple of days at that time.

The next time I met him was only at our wedding. He gave the impression that weddings and family functions bored him somewhat, and that he needed to get away from such events to actually talk. He did enjoy the music program at our wedding though-- a twin one with both Bakul Pandit and Shaila Apte, two of the most outstanding young artists at that time.

Sujata and I settled down in Bangalore after the wedding. Kaka visited us in the first two years quite frequently. We did not actually get close during these visits, although we did talk a lot. Over the next two years while Ashwini was born and Prabhakar got married, we continued our formal relationship. Then came our decision to move to Malaysia in 1971. Kaka got quite excited at this news, since we happened to be the first in the family to be living in a foreign country for an extended period. He wanted to know all financial details of my assignment. This was a peculiar trait of his. Although he was a ' karma yogi' in the Gandhian mold, and kept his needs to the bare minimum, he took a great deal of interest in the minute financial details of family members of the next generations.

While in Malaysia there was very little contact with him, since overseas phone calls were not very common those days, and he did not write much. During our vacations in India, time was all too short for meaningful conversations. It was only when we returned to India in 1979 that we renewed our contact. He visited Bangalore regularly and we had a few large functions like his completing 75 years and 50 years of his wedding. He loved having his grandchildren around-- but only after they became walking and talking age, of course. When they were college-going age, he was their friend.

In 1982, when I found out that I was to go to Malaysia again, this time as the head of the Company, Kaka's joy knew no bounds. Again the financial details were closely questioned, if not directly from me, then through Sujata. He was at the airport to see Sujata and children off.

This time during our stay, he wrote more often. I too went to India often, but the meetings were all too brief. In the mean time, I had more than our share of professional problems during the second stay, and it was for some kind of relief that we invited Kaka and Aai to come and visit us in Malaysia. After quite a bit of persuasion, they agreed and visited us in 1986 for a month. I think it was during this visit that the seeds were sown of a deep relationship between the two of us.

This stay was a revelation for me about Kaka's personality. When in Bangalore, he had always seemed under work pressure and impatient to get back to Bhadravati. Here he was totally relaxed, and did things he was happy with, such as walking, reading, listening to music and talking. I also came to know, at this time, one of his habits: He would wait for me to return from work and then pounce on me with all the accumulated remarks and questions arising from his day's activities. The questions would cover all subjects-- such as the book he was reading, or life in Malaysia, its people, our factory, and nearly everything. From these questions, I came to see an eternal curiosity as his most striking trait: he was always seeking knowledge. In all probability, it was his curiosity about life that kept him young and fresh even into his last years.

One example of the extent of his curiosity concerned champagne. After staying with us for a while, he had become used to my having a drink or two occasionally. Now he wanted to know all about champagne, how it was made, why it was so popular, why it was so expensive, and so on. At one point, I asked in jest “would you like to try some to know the answers?’’ Fully expecting to hear the horrified “no” since he was a confirmed teetotaler, I was flabbergasted to hear instead a ''why not?” So he had a sip or two. He then declared, in his typical brusque style, that he did not know why fools paid so much to drink this fancy drink when it was not even sweet!

He was full of questions about Malaysia-- social, economic, political. He did of course have a hierarchy for choosing the sources for his answers. He would address most questions to me, even when Sujata knew the answers. When he came to know that our friend Habiba taught English literature at the University, he directed all questions regarding the English language to her, even when I knew the answers.

He was especially curious about how such a small country became so rich and how its citizens led a life on par with a European country. Although the country was gifted with natural resources, he was impressed by what good management of resources and a small population could achieve. We travelled in Malaysia a great deal together by road. His excitement and pleasure in traveling in a big air-conditioned car was almost childlike. In restaurants too he was adventurous, although only in vegetarian dishes. He wanted to go to every eating-place, Chinese, Thai, and Malay. He was very fond of ice creams and delighted in eating huge quantities. Abhi was his constant ice cream companion.

Both Kaka and Aai described all the family weddings during their stay. In particular they were thrilled to recount Kunda's wedding. You see she was handicapped and all were worried how she would find a good partner in life. Here Kaka's sister in law [Upendra’s mother] played a big role. She put out the word, advertised in matrimonials in a magazine, and did everything till a match was found. Kaka and Aai were most gratified at the turn of events.
Sunanda was staying at Upendra's house in Pune, when Shamrao happened to catch a glimpse of her and was struck by a thunderbolt. Here too Kaku played a big role in finalising the marriage. Come to think of it, ours was the only marriage in the family where Kaku did not play a role

It was during our several conversations in Malaysia, that some of his family issues were explored. A picture emerged (and some of this is my conjecture), of a parent who was away from his children most of the time, and who was fretting later at what he thought were wrong family decisions. His guilt about being ‘an absentee parent’ was at the heart of many of his thoughts and actions. He had, after all, left Aai in charge, and was therefore reluctant to oppose the decisions, even though he sometimes did not agree with them. This thought of being an absentee parent was a recurrent theme in his life. It was no doubt a result of his job circumstances, but I also suspect that he was not too keen on accepting the nitty gritty of being a total family man. It is a pity too, that due to his long absence from his children he could not fully pass on the rich experience to the children, which he had accumulated from his exposure to various fine arts and literature.

Days passed on quickly and time came for them to return. We went via Singapore. Now the never-ending tussle started between Aai, who wanted to buy a number of things, and Kaka who wanted nothing. After a hectic couple of days, time came to say good-bye, and Kaka told us most sincerely that this was the best month in his life, and we believed him. Certainly I came to know him much better.

After another stressful year, we returned to India in August 1986. While looking for a house we stayed again with Prabhakar, where we again saw a great deal of Kaka. We came to live in Jayanthi. Ashwini came back to Bangalore and joined Mount Carmel College. Sujata zeroed in on fitness training and took up jobs in two aerobics centers, one that involved daily commute to Brigade Road on a two-wheeler.

My career was just picking up after returning to Bangalore and we were just finding our feet.
This was when calamity struck us on June 10th 1988.

In the months that followed, either my mother Vaini, or Aai were with us to be with the children. Kaka too visited often. He tried to interest me in philosophical and spiritual reading. This I could not somehow bring myself to even try. I was too busy fighting to restore some normalcy in life, and I am also not a very spiritual by nature. To his credit however, he never insisted nor tried to take me to any prayer sessions or to see any gurus etc. He was a great comfort to Ashwini and Abhi, simply because of his unorthodox behavior compared to people of his age. His mere presence was calming. He did not talk too much about Sujata, except references relevant to daily happenings. It was an unwritten pact between the two of us that we would not keep talking about what we have lost, but to go on with life.

It was in 1992 that an unexpected tragedy struck all of us. We were in Kolhapur for Harsha's wedding. Aai had been suffering from some infections while in Bangalore, and it was thought that they were under control. When we arrived in Kolhapur however, we were shocked to see that she was in Dr Gune's hospital in a serious state. And soon we were called to her bedside, and we could see that the end was near. Not anticipating this, Kaka had gone out and so had Prabhakar, and Sunanda. Only Samhita and Ashwini were at the bedside. It was our sad duty to inform Kaka of the loss when he returned. He was taken into Appa Gune's office and Appa informed him about Aai’s passing. Kaka did not show much emotion, but closed his eyes and after a pause sighed and said, “Eeshwarecha Baliyasi”, or “God's will prevails.”
A partnership of over half a century was over. Kaka handled himself with admirable and truly Karma yogi way. All he had read and practiced all his life came to his help in his hour of need.

It was a crazy situation, with Harsha's wedding fixed just two days later. Her father in law to be, Madhavrao Nanivedekar, was called in and we deliberated about the wedding plan. Madhavrao said that even though this was a tragic turn, the wedding should proceed. We consulted a priest and he too agreed that the wedding should proceed. The last rites were performed on the same evening. Prabhakar was heartbroken since he was very close to his mother. Next day were more rites of the immersion of ashes etc. This was getting to be very traumatic, with the wedding on the one hand, and mourning for the matriarch on the other. Somehow the wedding was completed with the constant shadow of the tragedy hovering over it. The Nanivedakars, I must say, were very understanding and sympathetic

Kaka returned to Bangalore from Kolhapur with a new set of equations. Many widowers in old days got very lonely, without the spouse who used to look after all their needs. They also become recluses. Not so with Kaka: he got involved even more in the family and became an integral part of it. He took interest in the schoolwork of Aparna and Ambareesh. It was as if he now wanted to do all the things that he had not had the chance to do for his own children. It also seemed as if personality actually became stronger, in this period- strange as it sounds. He gave advice in family matters more often, and in a more assertive manner. He conversed with the children and Samhita a great deal more. The family started to know him fully and appreciate his total personality.

Kaka now decided to close his business of the Electrical Contractor in Bhadravati. He had built it from scratch over a period of 40 years and more. He never wanted it big, nor had any more ambition than the small business he was doing. If he wanted to, by putting in more capital, and employing more people, he could have expanded the business, but he did not seek it. He carried on in his old fashioned way, earned what he thought was adequate for the family, and that was that.

He now shifted to Bangalore. This was his first experience of extended family life, and now staying with Prabhkar and Samhita. He adjusted himself pretty well. He busied himself in the house chores he liked like getting milk, vegetables and experimenting in the kitchen. Now his cooking skills flowered, with Samhita as his willing aide in the experiments. Prabhakar had now joined Solar Busiform and was heading the new factory in Jigani, so things looked good on that front. Kaka joined the Gurudev Ranade meditation group and busied himself there on a regular basis. And of course he read and read. He borrowed books regularly from me. He had his own collection of philosophical and religious books. He read everything; newspapers, magazines, books, you name it. And he had questions and comments on them, and just as in Malaysia, he would wait expectantly for me to visit in the evening before he released the avalanche of his questions.

He loved my music system and loved my music collection. He invariably asked to put on music as soon as he arrived. Immediately he wanted to know what raag was being sung and by whom. He still used the old-fashioned word 'plate' for a record or a cassette, which amused us. He enjoyed all classical vocal music, but not much instrumental and light music. Although he did not know too many technical details about Hindustani classical music, he loved to listen to it. He enjoyed Natyasangeet, from his past experiences of having watched these plays. He spent hours at our house listening to the music. He used the headphones sometimes, and it was a pleasure to see him totally engrossed in music.

Kaka loved playing bridge. Although he was not too skilled a player, his enthusiasm overshadowed everything. Aai too was an instinctive and competitive player, and they had played regularly in Bhadrawati where they played with the Oka couple. In Bangalore too he tried to find every opportunity of playing bridge.
It is fitting that we now have an annual Bridge tournament in the Maharastra Mandal with a trophy named after him.

He also kept himself occupied with physical activities. His fitness regime was overwhelming. He used to get up at 4 AM, and then meditate, do Yoga and take a walk. In the evening, he would take another walk for 4-5 km, plus more turns around the compound, and numerous walks in the neighbourhood. No distance was too long for him to walk, and he scorned wheels. Even in Pune, he walked enormous distances without any sign of a problem. Younger people used to get tired of long walks, but not him, ever.

At this time, Ashwini was completing her first master’s degree and was applying to study in the United States, something she had been keen on doing. In 1992, she was accepted with a full scholarship for a graduate program and left for the USA in September.
It left me saddened, and as one of the ways to keep myself occupied, I started the idea of cooking for the whole family on Sunday evenings. This was an instant hit with all, but especially with Kaka. Whenever he entered the house, his first comments would be “What a lovely smell” and he would then query what I was cooking. He himself was a good cook and knew a lot about spices and ingredients. While eating, he was full of compliments-- but also honest. His rare silence meant that something was not right with the particular dish. Initially I concentrated on meat dishes. It was only after I visited Ashwini and Abhi in the USA that I started cooking vegetables seriously. The Sunday night dinners were also occasions for talking and listening to music. This tradition continued for a long time. Sometimes Abhi's friends would join and enjoy the food enthusiastically. Even after Abhi left for the USA in 1998, the dinners continued, albeit less regularly, since a lot of fun was lost with Abhi and his friends not being there at the dinner. Aparna's children were regular fans.

During this time, Kaka got used to the sight of Prabhakar, Atul, Ambarish, Abhi and myself of course, sitting with a drink in hand. He was quite pragmatic about it, since he was confident that we were responsible drinkers. When we went out to eat too, he took it for granted that we would have a drink or two. Once, when I took him out to lunch at Bangalore club and I was ordering food, he reminded me to not forget to order my drink!! He remained curious about what the different drinks were, what they were made from, and most important for him, their prices!

Even into his eighties, his memory remained photographic. He could quote passages and sentences from books he had read years ago. Sanskrit, Marathi, you name it. He had read English books in his young days but he did not discuss them as much as the other books- he mostly read magazines in English. I was hence not able to share my first love, author P G Wodehouse, with him. Although his real love was philosophical books, he did not impose his likings on others. My favorite Marathi authors were not the ones he had read much, such as Vijaya Rajadhyaksh, Gouri Deshpande, Sania, Jayawant Dalawi and of course G.A.Kulkarni. (Of course he had read all of Pu La, like me.) But to his credit, he stated reading all these from my collection and started discussing the books in detail. He too was taken in strongly by GAK's powerful stories, partly because of their symbolism and mystic inner message. I remember the instance when I organised a special program on GA in Maharshtra Mandal. Kaka informed me in advance that he wanted to speak that day. What we all did not know (rather I suspected, but could not persuade him to change) was that he had chosen the story ‘Sarp'”! For those of you who have not read the story, it has explicit sexual descriptions. And Kaka, who was well into his 80s, wanted to read the story in front of a mixed audience!! When he set his mind to do something, no one could dissuade him from it. In this case, the reading was quickly shortened by the moderator, and concluded, with averted glances and blushes from the females.

In the 1990s, the marriages of his grandchildren were on the horizon. I am excluding Shucha's marriage since there was not much for anyone to do except attend the wedding. One episode involving Harsha stands out. At one point, Bhausaheb had pushed through an engagement for Harsha much against her will. When Kaka heard about this, he rushed to Bombay, collected all engagement gifts, went straight to the prospective groom's place and returned all gifts with a firm apology and broke the engagement. He showed remarkable clarity and firm decision-making in this incident.

As Aparna crossed 20, Kaka got very busy with his own ideas about a life mate for her. He wrote a resume for her, a very nice one too, and started writing to people, often without consulting Prabhakar and Samhita. One day Milind Nanivdekar suggested Atul’s name, and on the assigned day Atul appeared in the 7/11 house. He had not realised what he was in for, in the shape of a detailed cross-examination from Kaka. By this time his age and stature allowed Kaka all sorts of questions. Atul, ever the cool man, answered all questions with equanimity, and the marriage was arranged soon. Kaka was a central figure in the wedding at Belgaum. This was May 1993.

Kaka took a great deal of interest in the higher education of Ambareesh. He went through all the applications and followed all steps closely. He was very happy that he got into a business school. One day Ambareesh announced that he and Shalini, another business school student had decided to get married. He took care to see that he told Kaka in advance, alone. Kaka gave his permission, but asked for a one-on-one meeting with Shalini with no one else present. The account of the meeting was given by Kaka later. Apparently he gave her the picture of the financial position of the family. Then told her that the Dixits have a joint family, which she would have to adapt to, and that they celebrated Marathi festivals through the year. Both were satisfied with the interview. The marriage at Lucknow was quite memorable, in terms of the large number of family members attending and the unusual setting, and also the new UP customs at the wedding. The most memorable part was the barat, where all the ladies turned out in their best 9-yard saris. There was music and the dancing that started a little hesitantly, picked up soon as the guests lost their reserves about dancing in open streets, and the final show was quite spectacular. Even Kaka joined in the dancing. Kaka presented himself as a very happy and dignified person throughout the function. This was Nov 1999. Later on too, when Ambareesh and Shalini were living in Bangalore, Kaka became very fond of Shalini and a great relationship developed between them.

Meanwhile in 1998, Ashwini announced that she met someone whom she would like to marry-- Shankar, with his parents just two roads away from Jayanthi in Malleswaram! When I announced this to Kaka (and my mother Vaini in Aurangabad), it was amazing how these octogenarians kept an open mind and a refreshing adaptability to the new world. Without a moment of hesitation both (in different words) gave their consent, affirming their belief that whatever their granddaughter decided would be for the good. These two members of older generations really kept up with the times without a trace of resistance.

He showed the same open mind and pragmatism when Aarti's marriage was not working and she had decided to end it. I told him all the facts during one of our walks. Without any hesitation he said ' The earlier she is out of it the better.' None of the pleadings for a compromise, or any advice to somehow continue on that marriage.
My respect for kaka went up many tomes during this episode.

During this period Shankar made a visit to Bangalore. When he first came to our house, Kaka was full of questions. His questions were a bit subdued compared to those he asked Atul, given Shankar’s status as a visitor from the US, but they were asked all the same. At the end of the visit he told me privately that Ashwini's choice was wonderful and he was in total agreement.

He was very involved in the wedding preparations, which involved buying a few sarees and some jewellery for Ashwini, and an outfit for me. He gave me his blessings when I left for the wedding in Dec 1998 to Washington DC, USA. Only Abhi and I represented the family carrying with us the blessings from all who were away in India and from Sujata.

On my return he wanted to know all details of the wedding since it took place in a temple in Washington. He made it a point to see all pictures of the wedding rites. Ashwini and Shankar arrived in Bangalore in May 1999. We arranged a reception for the newlyweds and many relatives visited Bangalore. For three days there were different programs and Kaka participated enthusiastically. He got along very well with Shankar's mother Vatsala Vedantam, who was a writer and a journalist.

He was dogmatic about some of the things and nothing could change his mind. He once read a humorous article that Shankar, who was a journalist, had written about his snorkeling experiences. Kaka immediately wanted to translate this for our Mandal journal. I presented two problems: one, that humour could not be easily translated into another language, and the other that there could be copyright issue in reproducing a US newspaper article without acknowledging it. Kaka ignored my objections, and because he was worried that I would obstruct the article, made Prabhakar send it by registered post to the Mandal. I finally saw it only in the Mandal newsletter!

Kaka's 90th birthday in the mean time was celebrated in January 1998. Ashwini was also visiting India then. Every relative turned up and it was a very good gathering. Apart from the aarti by several ladies, and a big cake being cut, there was also a time for every one to reminisce about their favorite stories about Kaka. Good small stories came out from Vidya Gune, Harsha, Ashwini, and of course from the birthday boy himself.

His 93rd birthday, sadly his last, was celebrated in January 2001. He and I took a walk that morning. We had a party for him in Bangalore club. One could see that he was not 100% fit, but still he was his enthusiastic self.

At this point I must dwell on the relationship of trust, love and comfort between Kaka and Samhita. It was only post 1991 that Kaka fully realised Samhita's true worth and her full contribution to the family. During this period, Kaka came to trust Samhita fully and she in fact looked after his needs, fully anticipating them. Whenever we went out to eat, Kaka insisted sitting next to Samhita, and at some point during the dinner, a mere glance at Samhita would produce his special dabba containing his supplementary food. There was such wonderful communication and accord between them that Kaka some times sent messages to Prabhakar through Samhita.

He depended so much on Samhita that he missed her terribly when she was not around. For his Satsang with Gurudev Ranade group in Bangalore, she became an integral part of the team. He used to discuss all family issues with her and take her opinion at all times. He told her (as he did to me), many things from his early life, which he had not told anyone before. This association lasted during his last illness and until his last breath. Samhita told me that during his last days he desperately wanted to return to Bangalore. One night with the drip on his hand he woke up Samhita and insisted that she get the rail tickets then and there so that they could leave immediately! No wonder then that Samhita was one of the most desolate persons when Kaka passed away.

Another special relationship he enjoyed was with Upendra. Kaka's side of the family comparatively is really small- he had only his older brother Nana, whom he greatly admired and adored. He always stayed in their house in Pune during his visits. He loved spending time in International Book House. And knowing his love for books, he may well have considered working there to be a dream. He was always very fond of Upendra, his only nephew. As days went by and Upendra started regular trips to Bangalore, this fondness grew even greater. He was always especially happy when Upendra was present in a gathering. I remember an occasion when Upendra arrived unannounced a few days before Aparna's wedding. Kaka was so excited that he rushed forward and lifted Upendra physically off the ground and hugged him! And this when he had crossed 80 years already! His fondness for Upendra of course did not stop him from making stringent criticisms of him in choicest words, when the occasion demanded. The fondness was mutual, and Upendra too was devastated when Kaka passed away.

And finally what about his relationship with me?
We slowly crossed the border of an in-law type of relationship after 1992. When I look back, I think we became friends and really close after we started our evening walks in 1995 or so. We had fixed 5 PM as the time to start and the phone rang everyday at 4:55 with the familiar words “Ready, sir”. He was never, never, late, and as I took my car to the predetermined corner spot, he would be waiting there eagerly. We walked for about 1 hour every evening. His speed in early days matched mine, although he slowed down a little in later years. He was 35 years my senior, but those who watched us walking never realised that. One memorable time, he told me “if you are tired now, we can stop early, and I can finish my walk quota at home”!! These walks provided us with the best platform to exchange views on many subjects. In a way both of us had no other outlets for our emotions, and this one hour provided that ample opportunity. There was no subject we did not touch, although family matters remained dominant.

He told me about his early life. His education, his days in CoEP, the first job at HCL, his shift to Swadeshi, his disillusion with the Naravanes, his quite accidental shift to Bhadatavati, the education and careers of his children. What he enjoyed most was telling the stories of the how the marriages were arranged for all the children. The story of Kunda's marriage through a matrimonial advert, Shyamrao's infatuation with Sunanda and the marriage thereafter was evergreen in his memory. His memory was phenomenal. He could recite years and dates for events that took place 60 years ago! He even told me the day Abasaheb Apte (Pamatai’s father) was married. He remembered the day when he went to meet the prospective bride with Abasaheb Apte accompanying him as a senior and asking the mandatory questions of the bride to be. There were literally hundreds of events in his memory bank he could just access like a computer and recite full details. My only regret is that I should have recorded his talks, which would have been invaluable.

He told me about family finances in great detail, and I told him certain things about my side, which I had not told anyone else. He would ask advice and vice versa. He had blind faith in me, and was permanently upset that in his opinion I was not getting my dues in my career. He was very keen that I become the number 2 person in our family-run company. That it never happened disappointed him much more than it did me. The same thing about the perks. He was always keen that I get a bigger car and did not let me rest until it came one day. He would keep asking about my office situation and what came in the way of my progress.

He always believed that whatever the subject, I would provide the answer. It was very embarrassing when, in a room full of knowledgeable people, he would turn to me and ask my verdict. We shared the liking of good books, good music, and good food. We both shared the memories of people we had lost. He showed complete empathy of my situation and was fully appreciative of my difficulties. So close had we become that if we did not meet on any one day, both of us would get restless.

In January 2001 came Kaka's 93rd birthday. For the previous month or two, he had started slowing down in his walk and getting tired easily, which was very unusual for him. Around his birthday, he started having urinary problems. Dr Appa Gune and Dr Rahul were consulted on the phone. Just after his birthday, the problems worsened and he had to be admitted to a nursing home for treatment. That did not work out so well. We were consulting Kolhapur on the phone all the time. Finally we decided to shift him to Kolhapur. By then he had become very weak. When the time came to take him to the train, he had to be physically carried to the car.
While making him as comfortable as possible in the first class compartment, he still looked well. I was to leave for the US in the next week and he kept asking me about my program, noting the date of my return. When the train drew out slowly and I kept telling Kaka that everything would be all right, I never imagined that it would be the last time I would be setting my eyes on him.

I got regular calls from Prabhakar, Samhit and Appa about Kaka's condition, and these appeared encouraging, when I left Bangalore for the USA. Even the brief and disturbing report that an emergency abdominal surgery had to be performed on him did not ring any alarm bells. All of us thought that he was so fit that nothing was ever going to happen to him.

I was with Abhi in Austin in February, when the phone rang and Abhi’s tone and his face told me something was seriously wrong when he handed the phone to me. It was Amabareesh telling me in hushed tones that Kaka had passed away. After a while the news sunk in and I sat down numbed with my head in my hands. It was all over; I was never going to see him again. The day was Feb 25th, 2001.

When I saw Samhita in Bangalore on my return, she told me that Kaka had remembered the date of my return from USA and kept asking her every day about how many days before my return. Once again I was close to tears. I would like to believe that he made a conscious effort to hang on till my return, but the odds were for once too heavy against him.

An epic life had ended leaving all of us rich with its association.

As I reflect on his life, I am at a loss to find the best phrase to describe him.

A Karma yogi as described in Geeta?

A Gandhian living with utter simplicity?

A man full of vast knowledge as a result of his varied reading?

A man who always kept his eyes and ears open for new knowledge?

A man who truly cared for his large family with love?

A man who enjoyed every bit of life?

All of the above, I suppose.

And most of all for me, a person whose presence filled my life in an unforgettably meaningful way.

Rest in peace, Kaka.

Travelogues

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Vijay Mulye, the Ramubhayya of Bangalore

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Kaka: A friend, philosopher and father in law

Blog Archive

About Me